Does anyone believe anyone any more?

[Ethan Kurland]

I had a long leisurely lunch & visit at the home of some newly made friends yesterday. I brought green tea. One lady asked for honey prompting me to insist that our hosts not get honey for her. I said that I was sure that though the lady had always used honey to counteract bitterness of green tea that what I had prepared had no bitterness to bother anyone. After trying her tea, she agreed that honey was not needed.

Later I prepared a second infusion of the tea, but the three people (including the lady who had thought she would need honey) who were had drunk the first round w/ me, said that they did not want a second round. (Later I learned that they did not believe that tea leaves could be used more than once even though I said that I & millions of people used tea leaves routinely for a few rounds.) I refilled their cups anyway. They tasted the second infusion, liked it, & enjoyed drinking all that had been poured.

So, I ask whether anyone believes what is said to them ever? Or, at least believe what is said to them by people who have not lied to them & have no reason to lie to them?

One of the dishes served was tortellini. I praised it & asked what brand it was. The host said that she had bought it at Costco where she usually got the store's brand. I said, "Incredible!"

The exclamation had been chosen carefully to be a somewhat humorous comment to denote the good taste made it hard to believe it was a cheap pasta, not to mean that I did not believe the hostess. She showed me the package which read "Kirkland" (Costco's store brand) & we laughed.

[Baiyun]

A fine guest you are. Denying people honey, pushing second infusions on people, questioning dishes. Back in my day, we'd have a servant throw you into the moat against your ignorant will, knowing you'd enjoy the dip after all. Washed from your fixations, you would have been served the finest tea in all of China!

[Bok]

Thanks for sharing Ethan. Sadly, this anecdote does not surprise. Preconceived notions without actual experience, or based on hearsay, are not as rare as they should be. I guess it makes sense from an evolutionary, survival point of view, but by now we should have made more use of our analytic capacities... at least your guests did give it a try!

[klepto]

I've learned the hard way that sharing tea with people who don't have experience with loose leaf tea can be troublesome.. They have doctored up their tea bag tea with so much that it isn't even tea anymore. So if you taste a wonderful baozhong, you will say that its too faint or I don't taste anything. I had a guest that said the hong cha was too bitter and frowned up at me. That particular tea was a bit tannic for the firstinfusion, yet sweet and syrupy on the proceeding infusions. Some have been drinking tea for years but never ever tasted the tea. Its like turning tea into a mocha latte.

[Andrew S]

I think it's a combination of belief, trust, and the safety of the familiar versus the risk (for better and for worse) of the unfamiliar.

We've probably all had experiences of people around us being hesitant to try what we brew and how we brew it, but I'm equally suspicious of ordering a 'tea' from a cafe or restaurant. I'm going to assume that it'll come out of some low-grade over-brewed teabag unless they prove me wrong (and even then, I'd rather order a pot of boiling water and put some of my own leaves into it...).

So I think it's necessary to win anyone over to new things slowly. I may like wet-stored puer, but I should probably think twice about subjecting some innocent people to its charms.

Andrew

[bentz98125]

Your story hits the head of the tea drinking paradox that while world over, drinking tea is commonly a social experience, the closest I usually get is drinking it in the company of others drinking coffee. That your company even tried loose leaf tea without sweetener never mind a second steep is a home run! I'd feel bad if not for access to teas inconceivable in previous eras. And tea being pearls before swine in my social circle, means more pearls for me!

[GaoShan]

As others have mentioned, people have preconceived notions about tea (and other food/drink) that are hard to change. Maybe it's less about whether they believe you than it is about what their past experience tells them they'd like. Hopefully they now realize that better tea exists.

[polezaivsani]

Such a dear to my heart question! I try to stick to the 'trust the dj' mantra, unless there's an air of grift in the air. Served me well thus far, but it's been getting harder and harder to go with it for some time. Trust is as rare as hen's tooth in my location, but it's been getting a beating around throughout the globalist discourses of modernity as well. At least there are plenty of 'trustless' gibberish in the realm of technology.

Though I hope to think that that bandwagon is slowly fading out and trust building sport would make a come back. Will tea be conducive to it? I'd love think that it will, most tea drinking activities lend themselves nicely to a discursive and attentive mood. Can't say that my tea time gave me much proof for it, but I'm still optimistic. The occasions where somebody is able to experience tea (or anything really) in some clear way has more to do with the particular person, their keen awareness, context, and in the last order, a little bit due to the kind of leaves they where stepping.

Then again, putting a 45ml teapot on a table with no sugar in sight and acting all conspicuously could make for plenty fun, and a bit of extra trust gained in the end. With plenty of practice that is. Cheers!

[mbanu]

If you had been the first, then later people would have had the reverse problem, brewing strong gunpowder and suggesting sugar, only to receive, "Green tea doesn't need sugar!"

[debunix]

I’m enjoying sharing tea with colleagues at work from my thermos when we’re in the workroom together during Clinc, and no one asks for sugar or cream. I think I have a pretty good reputation now for
sharing good stuff, and often people have heard about it before I make the offer.